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FAQ
Party Conversation
How can someone overcome shyness and approach a complete stranger at a party?
Approaching a complete stranger at a party is easy if you take the attitude that people are there to meet people and socialize. That’s why it’s important to have a half dozen topics or so topics of conversations that you are willing to talk about. Give the person a warm smile, a handshake and be the first one to say “hello. Then introduce yourself. That way you’re projecting a friendly image and making it easy for the other person who may be just as shy as you.
Can you recommend a few good conversation starters?
Sure! The key thing to remember about starting conversations is, it’s not what you say—it’s how you say it. Here are the three basic ways to get the conversation started.
1. Ask an easy-to-answer question about the food, music, art on the wall, apartment or anything else in your immediate surroundings. example, “Which one of these appetizers do you recommend?” Don’t think about what you’re going to say next. Instead, listen carefully for the other person’s answer so you can ask a follow-up question or reveal something about yourself.
2. Make a lighthearted comment about the food, music, art on the wall, apartment or anything else in your immediate surroundings. Keep your comments light, upbeat and positive. For example, “I love coming to Jan’s parties because she’s such a good cook and loves food as much as I do. How do you know Jan?”
3. Compliment the other person on what he or she is doing, saying, or wearing. Be sincere and not overly personal. Follow your compliment with an easy-to-answer question. For example, “That’s a lovely necklace you’re wearing. What kind of stones are those?”
How do you keep a conversation flowing?
Keeping the conversation flowing is easy – just listen for key words and free information and refer to them in the conversation. In addition to asking follow-up questions based on what the other person says, share some experiences and related information of your own. For example, “You mentioned that you went to school in … So did I. What were you studying?”
You say that you shouldn't ask "What do you do?" Why not?
I generally don’t recommend starting your conversation with “What do you do. That because, some shy people feel that it’s a bit abrupt and that others will pigeonhole them based on their professions. At the same time, since so many people do ask it first thing , I strongly suggest that you be prepared to answer this question without taking offense. Keep your answer short, but descriptive rather than pinning a “professional” label on yourself. For example, instead of saying “I’m an author and communications trainer,” I say, “I write books and give workshops on communication skills.
What's the best way to end a conversation?
The ideal way to end a conversation on a positive note where participants feel good about the exchange and have discovered enough common interests to want to talk again. So how do you make someone feel positive about you and the conversation? Here are the steps.
Step 1
Repeat something the other person said that you found interesting, funny, or insightful. The point here is to show that you were listening and valued what he or she said to remember it. This flatteres the other person and makes him or her feel good about themselves and you.
Step 2
Literally say something like “I enjoyed talking with you. It’s sounds like we have some things in common.” This reinforces the other person’s feeling that you like him or her and that you enjoyed the time you spent together.
Step 3 (Optional)
Suggest keeping in contact or talking again soon. Say, “I’ll le you know about …. How can I get in touch with you?” Or “Here’s my card. Why don’t you give me a call if you’re interested in going to . . . with me.”
Step 4
Finally, end the conversation with warm smile, handshake, and his or her name. Then say, “I’m going to say hello to some other folks here at the party. Have fun! Bye!”
